New Holland

Waiting at the domestic terminal at Cairns Airport recently for a flight back to Melbourne, I noticed a destination flash up on the departures board: Groote Eylandt. It’s a strange name for place in Australia — I even have no idea how the locals pronounce it. But it’s immediately obvious that it’s a form of Dutch, although not using particularly modern spelling, meaning “large island”. In order to demonstrate how large it is, Groote Eylandt is about the same size as the province of Groningen, or the Australian Capital Territory.

A few things have got me thinking lately about Australia’s past. Firstly, a post from Nick Bryant, the BBC correspondent in Sydney, about the strength of British culture in Australia. I was recently in England and everything (apart from the money) felt incredibly familiar, despite it being only my second trip through UK immigration.

Secondly, the history I was taught in secondary school was pretty shabby. We began with the First Fleet and continued through the 1800s, focussing on the gold rush. We were taught very little about the indigenous peoples and pretty much nothing prior to 1788, although I was aware that the Dutch had done some exploring. I read Gary Crew’s Strange Objects a long, long time ago, but the story of the Batavia had completely slipped my mind until I visited the replica in Lelystad last year. Some of the survivors of the shipwrecked Batavia reached the mainland and met the indigenous peoples, long before the British did.

Thirdly, the history of Dutch Brazil got me thinking how it would have been different if the Dutch had managed to keep control there. Given that the Dutch skirted around the northern and western coasts of Australia in the 1600s (leading to place names such as Groote Eylandt that are still used today) but never settled, what would have been different if Australia had remained New Holland?

I’m an engineer, not an historian nor a writer of alternative history, so I haven’t come up with anything radical. Nick Bryant mentions a lot of influence on media and sport. The influence from England has led to cricket, netball and rugby being popular sports in Australia. Hockey also originated in England, and is one of the few sports I can think of in which both the Netherlands and Australia are strong. Maybe korfball would have become more popular than netball.

If the Dutch had stayed for any length of time, I guess a form of Dutch would have become the standard language in Australia. Possibly another language could have triumphed, but it’s reasonable to expect that it would contain a lot of Dutch loanwords, as can be seen in Indonesian. There is a large amount of British programming on Australian TV, which helps with keeping the British influence alive, especially with respect to language. Possibly the New Holland public broadcaster schedules would be filled with Dutch programmes.

An interesting thought though is seeing as Australia is quite large, the Dutch could have settled in the north and the west, and the British could still have settled in the east. We could have ended up with a split situation, with two official languages/European cultures etc. alongside the cultures of the indigenous peoples. Who knows what that would have led to. In any case, it’s quite funny that Abel Tasman determined that Groote Eylandt was exactly that, when he was just 50km from a much bigger island.

On the box

Dutch television has a curious reputation. It was responsible for Big Brother, The Mole, and Hello Goodbye. However, not Survivor (Swedish) or The Block (Australian unfortunately). Speaking of Hello Goodbye, I always keep an eye out for Joris Linssen at Schiphol, and in June I saw him interviewing people waiting at arrivals. Somehow I managed to delete the sneaky non-flash photo I took.

De Wereld Draait Door was one of the first shows I saw on Dutch television and eventually became regular evening viewing. Firstly, because Matthijs van Nieuwkerk is reasonably cute and secondly, I was fascinated by the mix of culture and politics and sport and science. As a reward for passing the Staatsexamen I promised myself a visit to a taping. Although my Dutch skill was not displayed on the phone trying to book a ticket — after several minutes of trying to say my postcode, and then saying it several times in English, we finally found my street. My initials on the ticket were also incorrect. Time to relearn the alphabet.

Most of the studios are in Hilversum, just outside Amsterdam, but there’s a small one in Amsterdam itself near the zoo. The public channels operate on a broadcaster system, where each approved broadcaster gets so many hours a week depending on their member count, not dissimilar to how SBS divides up the time available for different languages in Australia. VARA is the main resident at Studio Plantage in Amsterdam and broadcasts two daily programs from there, as well as several weekly shows.

VARA certainly treats its audiences well. On arrival at the studio, we were offered coffee and tea, and when we moved inside the studio at around quarter to seven, we were offered another drink. At around seven, Matthijs spoke for 5-10 minutes about the show, why the audience was important, what else happens at Studio Plantage, and a rundown of the guests, including co-host Yvon Kaspers, who hosts the local version of Farmer Wants a Wife. While we waited for ONM to finish, music was played in the studio and we could get drinks from the in-studio bar if we wished. A promo was recorded at 7:25pm and we went live at 7:30pm.

It didn’t even feel like 45-50 minutes. The action moves around the studio, so something is always happening. As I suspected, most is adlibbed — Matthijs even deviated ever-so-slightly from the autocue lead-ins. Afterwards, we were welcome to have a drink at the in-studio bar, while the crew set up the studio for Pauw & Witteman, which goes out at 11pm.

I got home just in time to see the repeat broadcast. Now I can say I’ve been on Dutch TV.

On the left hand side looking interested in Matthijs and Yvon

My Dutch is still yet to recover from spending most of the summer overseas, but I can still understand a fair bit. What I’m missing though is context. One of the guests on the show was from a 1980s children’s show called Theo en Thea, and when Matthijs mentioned her there was an audible “ooh-aah” in the audience. I’m sitting there thinking “who? what show?”. It turns out one of my Dutch colleagues (who said the next day that she saw me on TV) was also not familiar with this show.

It probably has to be one of the more out-there things I’ve done, but I think it’s a good show to support. I definitely want to return, and next time have dinner in the studio beforehand. If only they would sell the format to Australia as a replacement for the early evening tabloid shows.

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Information on how to get tickets for VARA shows can be found at http://bijwonen.vara.nl. Tickets to DWDD cost €7 or are free for VARA members.

Innovation (x2)

TU/e biannually organises what’s known as Super TU/esday, which is a day-long forum of sorts, held on a Tuesday and is hosted by one of the faculties. September’s was hosted by Technology Management in collaboration with Brainport (the nickname for the high tech region around Eindhoven, Leuven and Aachen) and focussed on the innovative power of Eindhoven.

I only dropped by one session, which was on international context. Eindhoven is one of the most active regions in Netherlands for submitting patents, however if Philips is removed from the data, then Eindhoven drops down the list. A similar thing happens if electronics-related patents are removed, demonstrating the strength of Philips in the region. Another presentation looked at the number of shared publications with institutions in Eindhoven and other locations. Most collaboration appears to occur within short distances (e.g., UK, Germany, Belgium) and a large amount of collaborative activity occurs within the Netherlands. The final speaker was from ASML, one of the large high-tech companies based in Eindhoven, and spoke of the importance of collaboration for innovation companies.

Although I was impressed with the organisation, I still have an issue with Super TU/esday. Having a discussion on innovation and international collaboration in a language that not all Brainport employees understand is not entirely collaborative. It places a constraint on the presenters — they either have to be native Dutch speakers or have to have been here for a long time. The invitation is issued in two languages, but with a note in the English version that the day will be held in Dutch. I’m still not sure if that’s inclusive (by letting people know what’s going on) or exclusionary (unless you understand Dutch there’s no point attending). It’s a tricky situation.

The world is bigger than Eindhoven. Science and technology operate globally, and so should you. (Invitation, Opening of the 2009-2010 Academic Year, Eindhoven University of Technology)

Rewinding back a few more weeks: for the first time, the opening of the academic year at TU/e was held in English. As the first speaker, the chair of the Social and Economic Council of the Netherlands, pointed out, the TU/e had chosen a different day (week 2 of semester, rather than week 1) and a different language to all the other universities. The latter was a suggestion from the Federatie Studieverenigingen Eindhoven, who should be applauded for their initiative, even if the Rector Magnificus claimed to have received hate mail about the change.

The week before, Minister Plasterk (Education, Culture and Science) had outlined his ideas for restructuring the higher education system at the opening at Twente which gained some media coverage. He did a postdoc in California, so it’s no surprise that he’s looking to the US as an example. However, the guests at the TU/e were less attention-seeking. The second speaker, astronaut André Kuipers, told a story about his time in space. When he landed in Kazakhstan after a quick trip to the ISS, the first thing he had to do was to go through passport control and get his visa. I wonder if he got questioned as much as I did going to the UK.

After six months in the country in September 2007, I certainly didn’t feel welcome at the academic opening. This time, there was a much better atmosphere, and I bumped into a fellow native English speaker who had only been in the country for a few weeks and it was great that she was able to experience and enjoy it. All the presenters were Dutch though, so the enthusiasm for and emphasis on the international community felt a bit forced; surely a non-Dutch guest/presenter could have been found. In any case, overboard is much preferred to exclusion.

In a cinema near you

The Dutch aren’t known for their films. I guess I’m not the target audience though — it’s mostly “war film[s], romantic comed[ies] or children’s or family film[s]” (Filmkrant). No wonder I stick mostly to English language films, although German and Brazilian films are turning up on my list.

Despite the poor reputation, the Dutch have done reasonably well at the Oscars. Over the last 25 years, they have won best foreign film three times (De aanslag: read the book, watched the film; Antonia; Karakter) and have had two nominations (De tweeling and Zus & zo). The entry for this year is Wit licht, which was not well-received on its release, however was re-edited and submitted to Cannes, where it received a standing ovation.

Each year, there seems to be one single blockbuster around Sept/Oct. 2006’s Zwartboek went on to an international release and big things for Carice van Houten, while 2007’s Alles is liefde was a direct ripoff of Love Actually with a distinctive Dutch twist (and also Carice van Houten). So far these films are the only recipients of a Diamanten Film award for more than one million viewers at the cinema, possibly due to fitting into the categories of war film and romantic comedy respectively.

2008 and 2009 have seen a change in direction. Both hyped films had the same director, Ben Sombogaart, who also directed De tweeling. 2008’s Bride flight and 2009’s De storm have a lot of similarities. Both films are firmly placed in history — the Last Great Air Race from London to Christchurch in 1953 and the North Sea flood, also in 1953 — however create a fictional story around it. There are unmarried mothers and cases of parental dispute. (I’m being deliberately cagey for spoiler reasons, although this week’s Gouden Kalf awards gave away a twist in the best supporting actress clips.) Both start in 1953 and move forward in time.

I was hoping to get a copy of Bride flight for my grandparents, as they are about the same age as the characters in the film and I wondered if the New Zealand scenes with the interactions between the locals and new immigrants were familiar to them. However the unnecessarily graphic sex scenes put an end to that idea — a large amount could be cut and the story wouldn’t lose anything. It received an R13 rating in New Zealand for sex scenes and violence, and just recently received (as I guessed) an MA15+ in Australia for “strong sex scene and nudity”. The fact that the Australian rating doesn’t mention violence (and also this whole paragraph) shows the differing standards for sex and violence on film between Australia and Europe. However, the less-racy scenes in De tweeling and De storm show that Dutch filmmakers can be subtler when they want to.

Next on my to-watch list are the Paul Verhoeven pre-Hollywood classics Soldaat van Oranje and Oscar winner Turks fruit, both based on books. So far I’ve found that those based on books (or nab plots from other films) are the stronger films, but I’m still looking for a original movie that captures the modern Dutch ambience.

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Have you seen any of the films mentioned? Do you have any recommendations for good Dutch films? De storm is still showing at cinemas in the Netherlands. Bride flight doesn’t appear to have a release date in Australia yet.

Travelling

A tip of the week for expat bloggers: it does help if you’re actually in the country in order to write about it. This “summer” (as in late June to late September, as opposed to June-July-August), I’ve been on twelve different flights and visited eight different airports in five different countries and have probably been in the Netherlands for about four weeks.

On my travels, I managed to visit my home country (Australia), the home of my ancestors (England, although I suppose I’m technically of Scottish heritage, but they got on the boat in England), and the home of my in-laws’ ancestors (Germany). I have a lot of time for each country — where else could I be in a department store at 9pm on a Saturday night buying shoes?

The only thing I have to say about Melbourne in winter is that it’s colder than I remembered. However, Manchester in summer was just as cold. I also never thought I’d get so excited about English food, but I had the best curry ever in the Curry Mile. Walking into a convenience store and having a choice of so many Cadbury’s varieties could explain why Australia and the UK are among the most obese countries in the world.

I was also excited about the food in Dresden. It’s amazing that a quality main, dessert and a half litre of water can be had for about €15. That would set you back at least €25 in Eindhoven. Many slices and breadgoods were sampled, along with East German icecream covered in chocolate to disguise the flavour. Apart from food, palaces, rebuilt churches and huge shopping centres are the order of the day.

One morning I saw a group of people drinking beer at the station. So far, pretty normal for Germany. Except a) it was 9am b) the beer was in glasses c) they were at a bakery. Just one of those things being true is not quite right. However, a country where an advertising slogan of the local bakery is along the lines of “living without cake is possible, but not sensible” is always going to be in my good books.

In the meantime, I’ve managed to see a few of the Eindhoven events I mentioned. During the culture open day I saw Leon van der Zanden (a local cabaretier) perform for free (his shows sell out immediately, however a colleague went last week and was unimpressed, so I think I got the better deal), went on a backstage tour of the Parktheater, and visited the library for the first time. It was a good way to get a sampling of the upcoming cultural season. Eindhoven Trots 2009 was won by the lichtviaduct near the High Tech Campus, which would require a car to see, so I have no idea if it’s worthy or not. Finally, the Tunafestival was hit and miss: the acoustics in the main tent were appalling, however watching groups of musicians walking the streets performing incomprehensible Spanish music was much better and one of the stranger things I’ve seen in Eindhoven.

On top of that, I also neglected to mention Flux, a new art festival in mid-September, amongst other events. It appears that Eindhoven has a lot more going on in the autumn that I previously thought. It’s a good time to stay put for a month or two.

Eindhoven in autumn – preview

The title of this post originally contained the word “spring”, which shows you a) how bad my jetlag still is and b) that I’ve never quite worked out the different seasons. As I try to settle back into the northern hemisphere and plan some activities for the next few months, I remembered that autumn means Eindhoven actually comes to life.

The season starts with Hallo Cultuur! (6 Sep), where 14 cultural locations in Eindhoven will be open with free activities. Of note is the program at Parktheater, which includes previews of upcoming shows and backstage tours. Alternatively, the library is offering a glimpse at wedding traditions around the world.

The famous Lichtjesroute runs from 18 September to 11 October. In commemoration of the liberation of Eindhoven, a series of light sculptures are set up and can be seen between 19:00-23:00 every night. It’s best experienced on bicycle (the whole loop is 22km, but can be done in two or more parts), however the VVV also organises bus tours on some nights.

Voting starts on 31 August for the Pride of Eindhoven (Eindhoven Trots). This is an annual prize awarded to the best thing about Eindhoven. Nominations are submitted for people, groups and events in the categories light, design, sport, technology, and culture (i.e., all the things Eindhoven wants to be known for). The winner is announced by the mayor on 25 September.

One event I missed last year (possibly because it didn’t sound very Dutch) was the Tunafestival (25-27 Sep), which is a competition for Spanish-speaking student music groups. Groups will be performing in the market area on Friday night and Saturday afternoon.

After last year’s experience, I’m not sure if I’ll participate in the City Run this year as part of Marathon Eindhoven (11 Oct), as my training was waylaid due to an Australian winter. In any case, it’s certainly an entertaining and cheap day out. This year I’ll be making an effort to watch the marathon in the afternoon — the current Dutch champions are confirmed to start, and I assume more international participants will be announced later. For those interested in participating or getting started with running, online registration closes mid-September, and the national Start To Run program starts again at the same time.

One of the flagship events is Dutch Design Week, which will run from 17-25 October. The programme will be out soon, but it’s guaranteed that there will be plenty of exhibitions, lectures, workshops, and parties all about design.

A newer festival, Glow (6-15 Nov), is back for another year. It’s an international light art festival: images are projected onto buildings and sculptures are built in and around the city centre. It’s a grown-up, sophisticated version of the Lichtjesroute.

Glow was my highlight of last year’s Eindhoven-based festivals (and quite rightly the winner of Eindhoven Trots 2008), although this year I would like to see more of Design Week (I said that last year as well). I’ll probably pop back to the Lichtjesroute as well. For anyone looking for reasons to visit Eindhoven, these events should suffice.

Ninety-nine bottles of beer

I should have kept track of how much beer I drank in my first year living in the Netherlands, as I suspect that it was more than I had drunk living in Melbourne for the previous four years. I’m really not a fan, and am much happier having either lemonade or raspberry vodkas when I’m at a pub.

I find in Melbourne that people are a lot more tolerant of not drinking beer at a pub, whereas in the Netherlands I feel that if you’re at the pub, then you must drink beer, and as much as everyone else, or else you get looks, and sometimes comments. There’s also little choice in the way of alternative venues if one wants to go out in Eindhoven, so pub and beer it is. It really feels like a beer-driven culture.

Recently my partner’s sister and her boyfriend came to visit from their base in Germany. The souvenir they were most interested in was Belgian beer (and Albert Heijn fruit smoothies), which I was assured was unobtainable over the border. We undertook several activities in order to achieve this goal, including purchasing a trolley full of beer (and smoothies — yes, it’s a strange combination) from the supermarket.

We paid a visit to the La Trappe brewery just outside Tilburg, where there’s not much to see if you don’t go on a tour, but the proeflokaal (tasting café) and the shop were worth the trip. There are six beers on tap, and plenty of snacks to order alongside, including sandwiches with beer-flavoured ham.

Back in Eindhoven, the Lonely Planet lists Stratumseind as one of the few things to do, which really says a lot about what’s on offer in Eindhoven. It’s basically a long street of pub after pub after pub, with the occasional restaurant or take-away or coffeeshop. I used to call it the “pub street”, before I realised it had a name.

One evening we went to the Bierprofessor. If I do have to drink beer, then this is the place to go, as there are more than 100 beers on offer and therefore something for everybody. I’ve tried a few other places — the Australian pub is the most un-Australian place, but at least I got a free beer — but nowadays I head straight for the Bierprofessor.

The other advantage of the Bierprofessor is that it’s located at the top of Stratumseind. After about 10pm or so, when everyone starts to go out for the evening, you can sit and observe the hen’s/buck’s nights and sports teams and other celebrating groups as they arrive and look for a pub. The pubs then have to fight for clientele: we saw one who had posted an employee out the front offering sushi for most of the night. He was getting people in too.

After all this exposure to beer over the past few years (not to mention that weekend), I have discovered a tolerance for Belgian beer, in particular the rosé variety. So if anyone gives me any rubbish in Melbourne for refusing a Carlton or (on a fancy night out) a Corona, I can name-drop some decent beers and look knowledgeable.

Rotterdam, Netherlands

Even though Rotterdam is apparently the most dangerous place in the Netherlands nowadays, taking over from Eindhoven, there’s a lot I like about it. For one, it actually looks like a city. There are buildings and trams and a metro system. Secondly, it appears to be very multicultural. There was a bit of attention recently when they were the first Dutch city to elect an allochtoon (someone who is an immigrant or a child thereof) to the position of mayor.

Recently I participated in the third Ladiesrun, which is one of the big running events in Rotterdam. (Coincidentally, the starting honour was given to the wife of the mayor). This time, instead of just running and coming home again, I took a backpack and went exploring afterwards. The main reason for the exploring was the Brazil Contemporary exhibition, but I also discovered some elements that weren’t Brazilian. For starters, I found cupcakes, courtesy of Lily.

The Nederlands Fotomuseum had an exhibition by the Dutch photographer Hans van der Meer. I’ve seen some of his photos before, but it took me a while to remember where (it was the Dutch Landscapes exhibition at the Kröller-Müller Museum). One of his series, Hollandse Velden (Dutch Fields), looks at local/amateur football in contrast to the top leagues. All the photos show some element of the real world as well as the pitch and players, e.g., showing houses, roads, trees in the background. This series was later extended to Europe under the title European Fields. I wonder if anyone had the idea to send him to Brazil to do a Brazilian Fields series.

Last year the architecture faculty building at TU Delft caught fire and had to be demolished. As I work in the sister faculty at TU/e, we were very affected by this. Within a few days, a tent city was set up so classes could continue. Currently the faculty is housed in a building just off campus. A few months after the fire, a design competition was announced, and the submissions can be seen at the NAi.

The dis/advantages with designing a building for an architecture faculty are that a) the people designing it have a good idea of what the building needs to do from their experiences at university; b) it has to be impressive in order to show off the faculty. There were a lot of very creative designs, ranging from having all students off-campus, to one large building, to a mini-city of sorts with smaller buildings and green areas.

One of the most curious submissions was a joint submission in which the first-named was an architecture firm in a neighbouring suburb of mine in Melbourne. It consisted of a train station, in which trains would be housed. The carriages of the trains could fulfill different purposes depending on the wishes of the faculty — a library in one carriage, canteen in the next, workshops in the next. It was described by the judging panel as “an interesting and provocative idea”, but they “question[ed] whether a future faculty could really function without a building”. Several submissions shared this theme of mobility.

At the end of the day, I returned to the relative safety of Eindhoven, carting cupcakes. After a long day of physical (from all the running) and mental (from all the imaginative travel to Brazil and Delft) exertion, I couldn’t even summon the energy to read my book on the train trip home. And I hadn’t even gone near the shops for some financial exertion. Now that’s the sort of city I like: so many varied and thought-provoking activities on offer.

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Hans van der Meer – Work & Play [en] is on display at the Nederlands Fotomuseum in Rotterdam until 23 August 2009. Building for Bouwkunde [en] can be seen at the NAi until 26 August 2009.

Rotterdam, Brazil

I now have more Brazilian colleagues than Dutch, funnily enough, and they like to talk about Brazil, funnily enough, so I am slowly acquiring more and more facts about Brazil. The population of Brazil is about 200 million, which is ten times the population of Australia (and could explain why I’ve met more Brazilians than Australians lately). Like Australia, there are also indigenous peoples (and land ownership disputes) and a large immigrant population, and it was colonised by a far-off land, so there are times when I feel a bit more affinity with the Brazilians than with the Dutch.

Rotterdam is currently home to a large-scale exhibition about Brazil, known as Brazil Contemporary [en], which is in town until the end of August. Why Brazil, I’m not sure — I can’t find any particularly special link between the two countries. The introduction in the official brochure mentions that Brazil is a big user of the port, but that’s not that interesting. In 2006 Rotterdam hosted China Contemporary, so maybe they’re just working through the BRIC countries and extending a friendly handshake to the supposed next world powers. Smart move if so.

There are three museums involved with this event with temporary exhibitions — Museum Boijmans van Beuningen, NAi (the architecture institute), and the Nederlands Fotomuseum — as well as one-off events around town. Rotterdam is also home to the annual Zomercarnavale, which is a more authentic version of Brazilian carnival, actually being in the summer for one thing. So, just like in my office, the Brazilians have officially taken over Rotterdam this summer. Recently I did a quick tour through the three museums in one afternoon, but I might return later in August for the fashion exhibitions and revisit one or two museums.

Never been to São Paulo? NAi have turned one of their rooms into São Paulo for your convenience. Or an approximation thereof — it seemed to be lacking 20 million people, i.e., more than the population of the Netherlands. There are several big screens showing short films of the city in sync, which is really atmospheric.

The most comprehensive exhibition though is at the Fotomuseum. Here you can see photos of modern-day Brazil, along with book covers, event posters, short films, experimental art, and computer games. One of the games looks like a typical martial arts game, but on closer inspection is based on the art form of capoeira. I really enjoyed the wall of excerpts from Tupigrafia, a magazine about typography. The panoramas of São Paulo are also impressive.

From watching Brazilian films, one could be forgiven for thinking that Brazil is all about favelas (slums), crime, drugs, partying and football. That does come through in the exhibitions, but they do show other aspects, for example, people going to and from work. A building in one of the photos looked exactly like an old (i.e., 19th century) building in Melbourne.

Using the ideas of the philosopher Alain de Botton, this is a great example of imaginative travel, where one “travels” but without the physical part. Given that the Australian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade is still listing Brazil as a not particularly safe country, I’d say this is the closest I’ll get to Brazil in the near future. If I remember correctly, de Botton also says one can be disappointed if one actually physically travels somewhere, so maybe it’s better this way.

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Brazil Contemporary can be seen at various locations in Rotterdam until 23 August 2009.

Diploma

This year on my two-year anniversary of starting work, I was stuck inside, which is nothing unusual, especially on a nice sunny day. The only difference this year was that I was actually in an exam centre with about twenty other people.

We were sitting the NT2 Staatsexamen, which is the local equivalent of the IELTS or TOEFL exam. My experience of the latter exams is non-existent, as I have 13 years of school and a few higher degrees undertaken in English-speaking institutions as proof of my English language skills. (Surprisingly, none of the above tests is a requirement for doing a PhD at TU/e — you are not officially required to show any proficiency in Dutch or English as far as I’m aware.) In any case, I have no reason to show proof of my Dutch language skills, but I thought it might look good on my CV.

The level 2 Staatsexamen (NT2-II) is really only needed if you want to undertake a higher degree which is taught in Dutch. Some employers may also request it. Level 1 is slightly easier and can be used to obtain a Dutch passport. The other participants I talked to wanted to go to uni — they weren’t there for work reasons. So I had to explain that I was just there for fun. No, really. They had also been living in the Netherlands for a lot longer than I, and had Dutch partners (which helps with learning the language), so I felt really out of my depth. I don’t know if it’s the same elsewhere, but at the Eindhoven exam centre there are often a large number of German students sitting the exam, who will spend the breaks talking in German, unlike everyone else who communicated in Dutch.

I was quite curious what hoops I’d be made to jump through. The whole exam takes two days, however you can elect to sit the different parts in different weeks — one woman at my trial exam had booked four separate days so she would have only one exam per day. I decided to do it all in one go, which was tiring. The first day is reading, followed by speaking, and then the second day is listening and writing.

What I found interesting is how they isolate the different skills. You are only required to write during the writing exam: reading and listening are multiple choice, and speaking is clearly assessed on your vocal output only, however you are allowed to make notes, which are not assessed.

Listening consists of answering multiple choice questions about different interviews between two or more people — there’s no visual aspect to help with context, so watching TV is not the best preparation. You will also never hear the possible answers being directly spoken, so you need to be able to process the spoken information, rather than just listen for certain words.

Speaking is also a difficult exam to study for. You are given several situations, one-by-one, and you are asked to put yourself in that situation and provide an answer in 20-30 seconds. It really requires you to have a good and quick vocabulary. Sometimes it can take me up to a day to remember a particular word, so suffice to say, I was not looking forward to it.

Somehow, my idea of fun paid off, and I am now the proud owner of a Dutch as a second language diploma (after a brief saga in which the post office returned it to sender because I hadn’t picked it up after only two days). Each exam has a 60-75% first attempt pass rate, so I suppose I did well to pass all four for someone who’s only been here for a short time. The certificate is strangely pretty, and a nice memento of the half-way point of my contract. I could improve my Dutch further, however for now I’m happy with Dutch maintenance and working on my German instead.